ryan c. taylor// paws

brain beat by hammers

head full of hell couldn't sleep last night

screaming at the mirror think i lost my mind

light busting through the window from the war outside

got off the horse now i'm cursing life

wanna pull the plug with an exacto knife

wanna shut up the voices with a 45

wanna smash up the town and everyone in sight

get out of my head

fucking leave me alone

wanna watch it all burn

from my window

think i'm going insane

think i'm losing control

wanna shut up my brain

with an assault rifle

get out of my head

fucking leave me alone

wanna watch it all burn

from my window

think i'm going insane

think i did years ago

wanna paint the wall

with fragments of my skull

streetlights screaming

pounding the floor at the SLH

wondering how it ever got this way

praying for the pain to evaporate

itter and remorseful as i walk the streets

hoping for the day that i'll get relief

full of anger and depression think i've reached my peak

full of fear of tomorrow and what awaits for mbe

get out of my head

fucking leave me alone

wanna watch it all burn

from my window

think i'm going insane

think i'm losing control

wanna shut up my brain

with an assault rifle

get out of my head

fucking leave me alone

wanna watch it all burn

from my window

think i'm going insane

think i did years ago

wanna paint the wall

with fragments of my skull

self loathing asshole

bitter and remorseful as i walk the streets

hoping for the day that i'll get relief

full of anger and depression think i've reached my peak

full of fear of tomorrow and what awaits for me

get out of my head

fucking leave me alone

wanna watch it all burn

from my window

think i'm going insane

think i'm losing control

wanna shut up my brain

with an assault rifle

get out of my head

fucking leave me alone

wanna watch it all burn

from my window

think i'm going insane

think i did years ago

wanna paint the wall

*ryan c. Taylor 2010

ryan c. taylor// titan anthem

titan blood go

perverse and reckless

we travel in packs down the midtown streets

violent obsessions

we're here to ruin your night yea we got ill means

we're here to have fun at your expense

hooligoon stomp

tb plays to win

wwooooaaah we're gonna get it in

we've got the suss

animals in heat

we're titan blood

we can't be beat

we keep the faith

houston elite

we're titan blood

kings of the streets

ignorant and careless

smashing up the town we don't talk to police

brazen and shameless

titans on the prowl enemies of peace

wherever we go tensions increased

staring in disgust at what's around me

woooaaahh enemies of peace

we are the truth

houston elite

we're titan blood

we can't be beat

we've got the suss

won't accept defeat

we're titan blood

kings of the streets

*titan blood 2010

ryan c. taylor// pain worship

i saw a plane crash right in front of me, in my backyard, are you listening?

i swear it happened, all the passengers died, the pilot lived, are you listening?

he crawled out from the wreckage, he said to me

"it could have been you, it was a bird i was avoiding"

did you fly too low?

did she fly too high?

he said "the latter, but the bird didn't die"

you give it your all, and all you get, is a plane crash, it's pain worship

the pilot wanted to clip her wings

her silly drive for success left 200 dead

she told her friends she was gonna reach the heavens

if she could just get past those black clouds

did they die in vain?

did she find god?

she's not here now, life drags on

you give it your all, and all you get, is a black cloud, it's pain worship
fear fathered me
brokens humbling
uncontrollably
this is life what with me
refusing to be free
this is life with me

*black coffee 10/7/12

ryan c. taylor// rough draft

this is a daily reprieve for me, myself, and me.

keep head down, keep knees locked, stay put and keep reading.

focus on an object in the distance when walking.

never let your eyes leave this object, nod your head but don't listen to others.

stick to a script when explaining to others what you've been up to.

memorize this script and remember your mother will always love you.

play the role of the victim in every situation you encounter daily.

constantly remind yourself you've failed your father and ex lovers.

change your wardrobe a minimum of 5 times each morning before leaving the house.

always look behind you, avoid stools or chairs with no backs.

remember to always appear interested, and act as if you can relate.

co sign on other peoples bullshit as much as possible.

let others affect you, there's always space available for rent in your head.

lose weight.

gain weight.

socialize.

isolate.

*black coffee 2014

ryan c.taylor// historically speaking

hellfire and brimstone/cliches get me home/ i hate the way you moan/somebody shut that dog up/ this can't go on, for too long/ i really wish it could but historically speaking

i break hearts

i catch cases

i cum quick

real evasive

i don't fulfill expectations

i'll be back at the trap house by dawn, historically speaking

old rigs, new bones/ in ghettos unknown/ third ward, fourth ward, second i'm home/ black out the windows/ unplug the phone/ shut that fucking dog up because...

i wreck homes

i never "get it"

i piss and moan

when i'm deep in it

i run fast when she says i'm pathetic

back to the trap by dawn, historically speaking

(you know what she'll do?) she'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, someone will tell their mom. (quit laughing)

i wreck homes

i never "get it"

i cum quick

real evasive

i don't fulfill expectations

i'll be back at the trap by dawn, historically speaking

she'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends and on and on and on and on and on

*the burden 2010

ryan c. taylor// anchorless (part 2)

the compass broke months ago-saving up pennies just to know where i need to go, pity party of 1 left me in the cold, weird when I'm sober to every body but you,yea you. got me wondering what i gotta do to get you, yea you. to look at me like i look at you. north star, carry me home-home being my head where I know that I'm not alone,and when I'm fixed we can go where you wanna go, until then I just wanted you to know that you, yea you. encompass everything that matters to me. you,yea you. represent everything that I want to be. anchorless, but far from free-and if you knew what i knew you would tell me to fuckin leave, a little weird from the drugs it ain't you it's me, being a bastard staying cold is hard in the heat, and you? yea you could be my anchor if for once I would let you be you? yea you could go to hell with me if you wanted to. xoxo

ryan c. taylor// scott st. blues(part 1)

bleach-water-rinse-repeat, cookin' up mud to the sound of a 100 thieves, wheel chair man still fronts if it's in a week, his old lady still fucks at the triple 3, and me? me. still walking like someones after me? me. still talking like someones listening. sweat-shoot-sleep-repeat, walking down scott like i own every fucking thing, DFFL if you know what i fucking mean, and if you don't may gods grace keep you wondering about me? me. still acting like it's all in the past for me? me. still writing like it means something. laugh-cry-laugh-repeat, less talk more type syrup city is killing me, 3rd ward got me begging for fuckin peace, as if peace would keep me from slowly killing me? me. still talking like someones listening. yea me? me. still walking like the world is after me. I am a carrier for selfishness-I was saved from selflessness-While you embody all thats self righteous- Bleach-Water-Rinse- I got poison piss.