Sunday, March 13, 2011

ryan c. taylor// foreign skin

the grand, mournful entrance.
expelled from a coughing womb
into the cold, tight, latex grip of a foreign being.
the saltwater flooding the parish hospital floor
is coming from the face of the carrier.

it all began with a break up.

a forceful push from you.
the virgin mother now a martyr of what
will later become spiritual warfare.
the rest of her life spent clawing at faces
of those who come between her and son.
 
a lifetime will be spent fearing the orphan father.
 
the virgin mothers pilgrimage begins in sulphur.
in wooded green and tanker white highways.
in cocaine fueled sewing circles with son laughing and fat.
pushing, crushing, painful thoughts of where
orphan father lay at night.
 
searching for needle and thread to reconnect.
 
the seeking continues in southeast barrios.
hungry and sick, painstaking and frantic.
lovefilled and withdrawn, undiagnosed and selfless.
the virgin mother weeps, the son explores cracked foundations.
the son searches for orphan father.
 
longing to return to the womb.
 
the son rambles in empty trailer park lots.
eyelids purple and bruised, brothers praising.
closer to orphan father, to machismo wisdom.
farther from the virgin mothers saltwater streams.
farther from love, the son fills the void.
 
jihad in the mental.
 
the journey leads to television sex and bad food.
catholic guilt pouring out of the sons urethra.
the virgin mother begins a 6 month sabbatical
in a psychiatric hospital.
son wanders on, searching for a womans validation.
 
the push from commitment and whats underneath.
 
the son finds an opium swarm.
heart and mind engulfed in warm waves for a decade.
pushing down the fear, the sadness, the pain
that bred social awkwardness and righteous anger.
farther from the orphan father, the son feels the wound.

the retreat inward.

son numbs with water, bleach, vinegar, and lemon juice..
stumbles past the flags, the gang signs, the steel capped
boots, the charges and spikes, the bald heads, the propaganda,
the hooded activists, the train hoppers, the screw heads.
past the poets, the art students, the junkies, the recovering junkies,
the drunks, the dry drunks, the horny hipsters, the cowboy punk rockers,
the trust fund mercenaries, the indie rock aficionados, the hustlers,
the mother whores, the daughter whores.

to break,
to fear,
to search,
to long,
to wage war,
to push,
to retreat,
in foreign skin.

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