ryan c. taylor// rough draft

this is a daily reprieve for me, myself, and me.

keep head down, keep knees locked, stay put and keep reading.

focus on an object in the distance when walking.

never let your eyes leave this object, nod your head but don't listen to others.

stick to a script when explaining to others what you've been up to.

memorize this script and remember your mother will always love you.

play the role of the victim in every situation you encounter daily.

constantly remind yourself you've failed your father and ex lovers.

change your wardrobe a minimum of 5 times each morning before leaving the house.

always look behind you, avoid stools or chairs with no backs.

remember to always appear interested, and act as if you can relate.

co sign on other peoples bullshit as much as possible.

let others affect you, there's always space available for rent in your head.

lose weight.

gain weight.

socialize.

isolate.

*black coffee 2014

ryan c.taylor// historically speaking

hellfire and brimstone/cliches get me home/ i hate the way you moan/somebody shut that dog up/ this can't go on, for too long/ i really wish it could but historically speaking

i break hearts

i catch cases

i cum quick

real evasive

i don't fulfill expectations

i'll be back at the trap house by dawn, historically speaking

old rigs, new bones/ in ghettos unknown/ third ward, fourth ward, second i'm home/ black out the windows/ unplug the phone/ shut that fucking dog up because...

i wreck homes

i never "get it"

i piss and moan

when i'm deep in it

i run fast when she says i'm pathetic

back to the trap by dawn, historically speaking

(you know what she'll do?) she'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, someone will tell their mom. (quit laughing)

i wreck homes

i never "get it"

i cum quick

real evasive

i don't fulfill expectations

i'll be back at the trap by dawn, historically speaking

she'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends, her friends'll tell her friends and on and on and on and on and on

*the burden 2010

ryan c. taylor// anchorless (part 2)

the compass broke months ago-saving up pennies just to know where i need to go, pity party of 1 left me in the cold, weird when I'm sober to every body but you,yea you. got me wondering what i gotta do to get you, yea you. to look at me like i look at you. north star, carry me home-home being my head where I know that I'm not alone,and when I'm fixed we can go where you wanna go, until then I just wanted you to know that you, yea you. encompass everything that matters to me. you,yea you. represent everything that I want to be. anchorless, but far from free-and if you knew what i knew you would tell me to fuckin leave, a little weird from the drugs it ain't you it's me, being a bastard staying cold is hard in the heat, and you? yea you could be my anchor if for once I would let you be you? yea you could go to hell with me if you wanted to. xoxo

ryan c. taylor// scott st. blues(part 1)

bleach-water-rinse-repeat, cookin' up mud to the sound of a 100 thieves, wheel chair man still fronts if it's in a week, his old lady still fucks at the triple 3, and me? me. still walking like someones after me? me. still talking like someones listening. sweat-shoot-sleep-repeat, walking down scott like i own every fucking thing, DFFL if you know what i fucking mean, and if you don't may gods grace keep you wondering about me? me. still acting like it's all in the past for me? me. still writing like it means something. laugh-cry-laugh-repeat, less talk more type syrup city is killing me, 3rd ward got me begging for fuckin peace, as if peace would keep me from slowly killing me? me. still talking like someones listening. yea me? me. still walking like the world is after me. I am a carrier for selfishness-I was saved from selflessness-While you embody all thats self righteous- Bleach-Water-Rinse- I got poison piss.

ryan c. taylor//gutter world

I wanna go like Pimp, Screw, and Big Moe, hiding out and sleepwalking with Jimbo the last shot got me thinkin' 'bout my kinfolk, back when I used to see him bangin nothing but C notes, lately for me it's been more blues than food, more tar than brew,more sleep than you, picking roaches out my teeth in the moon god's serenity won't be visiting anytime soon. I saw death approaching- bloodshot eyes-it looked just liked me, and I swear it called for me-commanding voice said "you look lonely", fuck father forgive me, can't kill this tick-chest won't stop pounding, father please believe me-not my fault- mind & body diseased, I fucking felt it coming-chapped lips, black eyes- I heard no angels singing. "Pops" whispered "It's all ending"- no more strung out nights, the fucking ship is sinking.